Familiarity

For the past week, I have been reminded of the ease with which we become accustomed to doing a particular thing. It happens slowly and repetition is the anchor by which it is secured. Repetitiveness gives birth to habits. We embrace these habits willingly and almost with a yielding of the understanding that they are just things that will be. Some habits are innocent and cause no harm but when performed with the same repetitiveness, one is no more able to let go of bad habits than they are able to let go of good ones.

The thing that has caused me to dwell upon this self described phenomenon is innocent on its face but has yielded a bounty of thoughts for me that relate to life, relationships, and personal reflection. Whenever I am stirring up something on the stove, I instinctively reach and turn on a light located on the hood above the stove. The light provides me a level of comfort because I can see how much salt I’m adding to food and see how something is boiling, frying or burning. For the past week, that light has not worked. It expired and I have not replaced it. Even though I know that, the automatic motion of turning on the light persists. It is starting to annoy me that every time I flip the switch on, there is no illumination. Yet, I have not taken the time to change the bulb. Why is it so hard to not turn on that light? Why even after several empty responses have I not stopped myself before flipping on that switch? Why do I keep expecting illumination when I’ve not done a single thing to change the darkened state?

The connection of this experience to life and the challenges we face daily is clear to me. We sometimes do the same fruitless task over and over again expecting a satisfying result. We make decisions and walk a path that is not ordained by God but we perpetually pray and ask God for direction and guidance. It is God’s desire to lead us but our connection to Him has to be in good working order. When we lean to our own understanding, as Proverbs 3:5 advises us NOT to do, we can’t expect the path that we walk to be well lit. We are essentially blind and in darkness when that connection is broken due to our disobedience but we address God in prayer as if we have yielded all to Him.

What lies at the heart of changing any habit is a change of mind. Accepting that change is even necessary is the first step. There may be many, many steps before absolute change is realized. We may even lose ground when striving toward a better way. Unless something is visibly and physically painful to us, we often will not take steps to change actions that may be causing the pain. And/or, as long as the pain is far removed or we perceive that the problem is some other person’s job to resolve, we are slow to understand the impact our non-action may be having.

This is not to say that some habits aren’t good to have. If you habitually fasten your seat belt or turn out a light before leaving the room or check the iron before leaving the house etc., continue to maintain those types of habits. The point that I make is that changing a poor habit such as being late, complaining, gossiping or telling lies is not easy to change without first accepting that change is needed. We should take inventory of our actions and then take steps to incorporate and replace wrong actions with that which we know is right.

Unless we want to continue to flip a switch that yields no fruit of light, change has to come.